


Nightmares

by SilverOwlCity



Series: My Son, My Sun [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Spoilers for Avengers: Infinity War, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 10:17:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14566863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverOwlCity/pseuds/SilverOwlCity
Summary: Dreams — nightmares, really — have haunted Tony every night since Afghanistan.





	Nightmares

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I just enjoy manipulating its characters.

Dreams — nightmares, really — have haunted Tony every night since Afghanistan.

For the first few years, he relives the water boarding and the car battery. The nightmares of Peter being killed at the Stark Expo soon replace that and he finds himself spending more time making sure his son is safe than actually sleeping. Eventually these dreams are replaced with dreams of the attack on New York.

He sees his new friends killing each other or dying side by side. Sometimes his son and Pepper are Loki’s victims. Sometimes Loki controls his mind and Peter’s blood is on his hands.

These dreams give way to even more nightmares of being unable to keep his friends and family safe. He sees Peter almost constantly — in both REM and when he wakes up.

After the disaster with Ultron, he sees red wisps of energy torturing his son. An angry robot breaks the fourteen year old’s neck every night. Tony doesn’t get much sleep.

After the Avengers’ split, a metal arm is responsible for his son’s repeated nightly death sometimes while the other seventy percent of the time, a brilliant blue and red shield does the dirty work. Tony is forced to watch every. Single. Time. He goes five days at a time without rest.

Then he has to suffer through the disaster that is his son’s own superhero agenda. Sometimes, the force of the ferry tears his limbs from his body or the arms deal goes through and Peter gets shot with the alien tech. Sometimes he’s too late and the building is too much and he finds his son’s body, almost every single bone in his body broken. Sometimes the boy is thrown from the plane and lands on concrete with a sickening thud.

He tinkers with new suits and finds a million new safety protocols to add to them for Peter. He refuses to allow his dreams to become a reality.

Now he sees one scene repeatedly. Every night starts the same way: Strange’s apologetic face.

“It was the only way,” he says as he crumbles into dust.

Staring in shock at where the others once stood, his eyes snap to his stumbling son.

“Dad, I — I don’t feel so good.”

He watches fearfully as Peter falters.

“I don’t — I don’t know what’s happening.” He falls forward into his father’s waiting arms repeating, “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go.” His voice slowly slips into a panic and tears fill his terrified eyes.

The two fall toward the ground and Tony sees Peter give up the fight. His son meets his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispers as his body becomes weightless, dissolving before his father’s eyes.

He is helpless. He can’t do anything, can’t save anyone. He’s failed in a way — the only way — Howard never did: keeping his son safe.

Tears fall onto the dust of Titan where Spider-Man just was. His last words echo around the space.

Tony wakes with damps cheeks every night. He has FRIDAY read him Peter’s nightly vitals. It assures him his son is safe and is actually here — alive.

He dreads sleeping more than anything in the world. But he’s been far too exhausted to stay awake for long. His life’s become a bit of a train wreck when he’s awake — so much so that he can hardly stand it.

His ‘team’ is pissed they didn’t know about Pete. Peter is ticked about the way his ‘team’ handled things with the Accords. He yells at Cap for leaving his father in Siberia for days. He tells Barton off for being mad because Barton had a secret family as well.

He becomes the defense Tony never asked for, but always needed.

But his teenage defender can’t always help him. He still feels the heat of Cap’s glare, the venom of Barton’s words. He feels Wanda’s contempt and the general air of mistrust and hatred that always seems to occupy the space he’s in.

He feels like his life is a living nightmare. Still, it’s better than his actual nightmares. And he’d rather go through this temporary pain than allow his nightmares to come to fruition again.

Watching Peter, MJ, and Ned laughing during a study session, he knows that he prefers his life with the clouds constantly battling the sun for control of it than for the sun’s light to be gone forever.


End file.
